Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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