Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
