Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i will never coherently bang her
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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