That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
