News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
