yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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