dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You ruined the universe
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
