Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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