I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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