Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
