you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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