Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
