i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
