My pussy is not your playground.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
