I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
