I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
