I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
