i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize