Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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