he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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