drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
