I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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