i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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