Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
