yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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