i was born a porn star she said
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
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My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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