Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
