i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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