Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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