I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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