two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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