You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
this boner is exhausting
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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