if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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