took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
