You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
