Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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