She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
