just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
