I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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