but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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