The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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