i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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