Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
