i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
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I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
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i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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