VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
