I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can't turn off my feet"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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