so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
