nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
