You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
