i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
