I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
