Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
