she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
