I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm sobbing to NWA
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize