They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
