You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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