My liver just broke up with me...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
